Webber: The seven years you spend here as a surgical resident will be the best and worst of your life. You will be pushed to the breaking point. Eight of you will switch to an easier specialty. Five of you will crack under the pressure. Two of you will be asked to leave.
Cut to Meredith and Derek.
Meredith: Dr. Shepherd, we should pretend it never happened.
Derek: What never happened, you sleeping with last night? Or you throwing me out this morning?
Meredith: No. You’re an attending. And I’m your intern. Stop looking at me like that.
Derek: Like what?
Meredith: Like you’ve seen me naked. (Shepherd smirks)
Cut to Bailey walking the interns around the hospital.
Bailey: Your first shift starts now and lasts forty-eight hours. You’re interns, grunts, nobodies, bottom of the surgical food chain.
Cut to when Cristina asked about the best-intern-surgery.
Bailey: What are you doing here?
Cut to George irritating Burke.
Burke: You and I are going to have so much fun together.
Cut to interns having lunch.
Cristina: You know Meredith is inbred?
George: Like it’s uncommon around here to be a doctor’s –
Cristina: No, royally inbred. Her mother is Ellis Grey.
Izzie: Shut up, the Ellis Grey?
Cristina: Uh-huh. (fade to Ellis in the nursing home) She’s a living legend.
Ellis: (to Meredith) What’s your name?
Meredith: It’s me, mom. Meredith.
Ellis: All right.
Cut to George and Meredith talking outside.
George: We’re going to survive this, right?
Meredith enters the locker room and puts up a Roommates Wanted sign on the noticeboard. She wants non-smoking non-Bush-supporters with no pets.
Meredith VO: (to city montage and Izzie/George/Cristina arriving) It’s all about lines. The finish line at the end of residency, waiting in line for a chance at the operating table, and then, there’s the most important line. The line separating you from the people you work with. It doesn’t help to get too familiar. To make friends. You need boundaries between you and the rest of the world. Other people are far too messy. It’s all about lines. Drawing lines in the sand, and praying like hell no one crosses them.
We see Meredith talking to a blonde woman, another intern.
Meredith: Look, I’m sure you’re very nice, but I’ve very particular about who lives in my house and you’re just not right.
Blonde: Why? Look, I’m quiet, no loud music, no parties.
Meredith: Where were you when the Challenger exploded?
Blonde: The what?
Meredith: The space shuttle. Challenger.
Blonde: Uhh, I think I was in kindergarten.
Meredith: Exactly. No.
Cut to Izzie, Meredith and George in a corridor.
Izzie: Why do you put up posters for roommates if you don’t want roommates?
Meredith: I do want roommates, we’re together a hundred hours a week, you want to live together too?
Cristina: No. Ooh, you’re bringing bribes now? (Meredith has coffee for Bailey)
George: I need a place to live. My mom irons my scrubs. I have to get out of there.
Meredith: It’s not a bribe, I don’t think it’s a good idea.
George: But I can put down last, first and deposit.
Cristina: It’s totally a bribe.
Izzie: I can cook. And I’m an obsessive cleaner.
Meredith: No. I just want two total strangers who I don’t have to talk to, or be nice to, and it’s not a bribe, it’s a mocha latte.
Bailey: George, you’re running the code team, Meredith, take the trauma patients, Cristina, deliver the weekend labs to the patients, Izzie, you’re on sutures.
Meredith: Dr Bailey. I was hoping to assist you in the OR today, maybe do a minor procedure? I think I’m ready. Mocha latte?
Cristina: If she gets to cut, I want to cut too.
Izzie: Yeah, me too.
George: I wouldn’t mind another shot, I mean if everybody else is…
Bailey: Stop talking. Every intern wants to perform their first surgery, that’s not your job. Do you know what your job is? To make your resident happy. Do I look happy? No. Why? Because my interns are whining. You know what will make me look happy? Having the code team staffed, having the trauma patients answered, having the weekend labs delivered, and having someone down in the Pit, doing the sutures. (takes the mocha latte) No one holds a scalpel until I’m so happy I’m Mary freakin’ Poppins.
Cristina: Mocha latte my ass.
Bailey: Why’re y’all standing there? Move!
They move. Meredith moves to the elevator, where Dr. Shepherd is waiting.
Derek: I didn’t know that. I’ve been living here six weeks, I didn’t know there were ferry boats.
Derek: Hence the ferry boats. (elevator arrives) Now I have to like it here. I wasn’t planning on liking it here. I’m from
Meredith: I’m not going out with you.
Derek: Did I ask you to go out with me? (pause) Do you want to go out with me?
Meredith: I’m not dating you. And I’m definitely not sleeping with you again. You’re my boss.
Derek: I’m your boss’s boss.
Meredith: You’re my teacher. And my teacher’s teacher. And you’re my teacher.
Derek: I’m your sister, I’m your daughter.
Meredith: You’re sexually harassing me.
Derek: I’m riding an elevator.
Meredith: Look, I’m drawing a line. The line is drawn. There’s a big line.
Derek: So, this line. Is it imaginary, or do I need to get you a marker?
Meredith stares at him for a second, drops her folders and kisses him. He’s just a tad surprised but catches on pretty fast, until the elevator doors ding and Meredith quickly crouches to pick up her folders and leave. Derek stands there looking bemused.
Derek: We’ll talk later?
Cut to Meredith walking.
Nurse: You the surgeon?
Nurse: We’ve got a rape victim. You better get in there.
Nurse 2: 21-year-old female found down at the park, status: post-trauma, she came in with a GCS of 6, BP 80 over 60, head trauma, unequal breath sounds, right pupil is dilated, and she’s ready for x-ray. You ready to roll?
Meredith has seen the girl’s shoes, which are identical to the ones she wore to work.
Nurse 2: Hey!
Meredith: Yeah. Call it in to clear CT, let them know I’m coming, load up the portable monitor, call respiratory for a ventilator, I’ll get x-rays while I’m down there.
Cut to the rape victim’s surgery.
Derek: She’s going to spend a hell of a lot of time in recovery and rehab.
Burke: If she survives.
Derek: What is she, like, 5’2”, a hundred pounds, she’s still breathing after what this guy did to her? If they catch the guy, they should castrate him.
Burke: See how shit her hands are? She tried to fight back.
Derek: Tried to? Rape kit came back negative. She kicked his ass.
Burke: So, we have a warrior among us, huh?
Meredith: Alison. Her - her name is Alison.
Burke: I think I may have found the cause of our rupture. (pulls out a piece of flesh) What is this? Does anyone know what this is? (he isn’t testing)
Meredith: Oh my god.
Burke: What? Spit it out, Grey.
Meredith: She bit it off.
Burke: Bit off what? (other people echo him)
Meredith: That’s his…his penis. (shocked groans) She bit off his penis.
Burke can’t get it into the tray fast enough.
Opening sequence. Burke and Shepherd wash up after the surgery.
Burke: If she can fight off the infection she’ll be fine.
Derek: That’s all dependant on whether she wakes up in the next 72 hours.
Burke: You know, we should get a drink later. You can tell me the long story of what makes a hot-shot doc leave the Big Apple for
Derek: It’s a short story actually. Your chief of surgery (Webber) made me an offer I couldn’t refuse.
Burke: Richard asked you to come?
Derek: Yeah. Why?
Burke: Oh, nothing.
Derek: See you later.
Cut to Cristina and George:
George: Do you know what the code team does? Saves lives. I shock a heart and someone lives to see another day. It’s upbeat. It’s glass half full.
Cristina: Bambi, don’t say another word until after the hunter shoots your mother.
George: I don’t like you.
Cristina: Well, I have a B.A. from Smith, a Ph. D from
Bailey: Then get started.
Cristina: Oh, uh, I wasn’t complaining. I-I don’t –
Bailey: This intern was reassigned, so he’s mine, now (it’s Alex). Have him shadow you for the day. You show him how I do things.
Alex: Alex Karev, nice to meet you.
Cristina: The prig who called Meredith a nurse, yeah. I hate you on principle.
Alex: And you’re the pushy overbearing kiss-ass, I, uh, I hate you too.
Cristina: Oh, should be fun then.
George’s pager beeps. Cut to George running along a corridor followed by the code team. They enter a patient’s room to beeping.
George: Okay, I’m George O’Malley, I’ll be running this code. What’ve we got?
Nurse: We’ve got a 57-year-old male, he’s asystolic. Charge them to 200, please.
Nurse 2: Clear.
Cut to Izzie and an Asian woman.
Izzie: All right, Mrs. Lu, I’m Dr. Stevens, I’m going to sew up your wound, and you’re going to need…yeah, about six stitches. Are you allergic to any medication?
Mrs Lu says something in Mandarin.
Izzie: Oh, I’m sorry, I don’t – I don’t, um…do you speak English?
Mrs Lu continues to speak in her language.
Izzie: I’ll find, um…(to everyone in the room) does anybody here speak Chinese? (no response).
Cut to Meredith carrying a small esky. She knocks at the chief’s office, an older woman is in there.
Meredith: Hi, is the chief in?
Woman: He’s on his way. Is that it?
Woman: Can I see it? (Meredith looks down at the box and up again) No, forget I asked.
Webber: (entering) Meredith, it’s good to see you. Hey, I heard your mother was leaving mail? She going back with the U.N.?
Meredith: She’s, ah, taking time off.
Webber: To write another book, I suppose.
Meredith: Listen, so they said to bring this to you, so…?
Webber: Yes, for the police.
Webber: When did the police say they’ll come?
Woman: You know how slow they are. So, she’d better take it with her.
Woman: You have to take it with you.
Webber: Chain of custody rules. All medical matter and array must stay with the person who collected it, until it’s placed in police custody.
Woman: You collected the specimen, so you have custody.
Meredith: Custody of a penis.
Webber: Yes. Until the cops come for it.
Meredith: Okay. Well, what am I supposed to do with the penis?
Webber has no answer.
Cut to Cristina and Alex giving lab results to a family.
Cristina: You have a disorder called multinucleate cell angiohistiocytomum. It’s not a cancerous sarcoma, it’s very rare but minor. You’ll be discharged today, okay?
Patient: I don’t need a surgery?
Patient: I – I’m not going to die, I’m fine?
Cristina: Fit as a fiddle, or whatever.
The family laugh with relief. One kisses and hugs Cristina. She’s about as thrilled as you might expect and looks at Alex, who is smiling at her.
Cut to Meredith placing her esky on a desk where George is working.
George: What’s that?
Meredith: Don’t ask, you don’t want to know.
George: I do want to know. Really.
Meredith: You really want to know? (he nods) It’s a severed penis.
George: Oookay. I didn’t really want to know.
Cristina: I don’t know why I have to be the one who gets hugged.
Alex: Because. I don’t do that. Besides, you’re the ovarian sister here.
Cristina: Did you just call me an ovarian si- an ovarian – since when has the possession of ovaries become an insult?
George: Meredith’s carrying a penis around in a jar.
Cristina: Oh, from the rape surgery? (goes to look)
Meredith: Yeah, and it’s not a jar, it’s a cooler.
Cristina: Talk about taking a bite out of crime (leaves)
George: (to Meredith) You okay?
Meredith: Yeah…Alison’s shoes. The rape victim, Alison, her shoes. I have the same ones. In my locker. And I normally never wear them, because they’re not comfortable, but today I did, and she was wearing the same shoes, and it’s just…stupid, and I’m tired, and forget it.
George: You know what you need? (they stare at each other)
Meredith: No. It’s sick and twisted. We said last time was the last time. (George looks away). You’ve been doing it without me?
George: Nancy Reagan lied. You can’t just say no. Come on.
Meredith: Do you know what would happen if anyone knew?
George: I’m doing it. You can come with me…or you can stay here, and be miserable.
Cut to a baby waking up, and then others. It’s a nursery, George and Meredith are outside. George does baby talk.
Meredith: You are such a woman.
George’s pager beeps.
George: It’s a code. I gotta go.
Meredith watches them and sighs.
Meredith: You are really cute.
We focus on one baby. Meredith’s worried. A close-up shows his face is going blue. Fadeout. Now Meredith’s in there, checking him with a stethoscope. He looks okay now. Another intern walks in.
Other intern: What are you doing in here?
Meredith: There were no tests ordered. And the baby has a murmur.
Intern: I know.
Meredith: He turned blue.
Intern: You’re surgery, you’re not authorised to be in here. Do you know how much trouble you can get into for this?
Meredith: Are you going to do any tests?
Intern: It’s a benign systolic ejection murmur. It goes away with age.
Meredith: So you’re not going to do any tests.
Intern: He’s not your patient, he’s not even on your service.
Meredith: Are you sure it’s benign?
Intern: I’m a doctor too, you know. You should get out of here.
Meredith gets her penis and goes. Cut to Izzie and the Chinese woman.
Cristina: You get a good case?
Izzie: No, her. She won’t let me sew her up. (Chinese woman speaks again) I wouldn’t have called you, but I can’t get hold of the translator. Can you just ask her what’s wrong?
Cristina looks to the woman and back to Izzie.
Izzie: Why not?
Cristina: Because I grew up in
Chinese woman sighs. Cut to Webber running into Burke.
Burke: Chief! So you asked Shepherd to come to Grace.
Webber: He’s an old student of mine.
Burke: Oh. He left a private practice because you asked.
Burke: No other reason? Just a favour for an old professor.
Webber: It’ll be years before I retire.
Burke: Chief of Surgery is mine. Chief of Surgery is mine.
Webber: It was yours, now I’m not so sure.
Burke: I am the best surgeon at Grace with the lowest mortality rate, you can’t just bring some guy in from –
Webber: Now ask me why I’m not so sure about you. Ask me why.
Burke stalks off.
Cut to Cristina and Alex.
Cristina: Don’t people get sick anymore?
Alex: I mean, how are we supposed to get any OR time if everyone’s gonna just live?
Cristina: Look, I’ll take ten, and you take ten. Get in, get out. No smiling, no hugging, no letting them cry, just be quick about it.
Alex: You’re the one that’s slow.
Cristina: I am not the one that’s slow. You are slow.
Alex: You wanna bet?
Cristina: Yeah, you’re on.
Cut to Cristina and Alex rushing through the results (separate cases).
Cristina: A comprehensive workup –
Alex: - did not reveal any vascular abnormalities.
Cristina: Your Doppler was negative,
Alex: for deep venous thrombosis, so there’s no need for chronic anti-
Cristina: coagulation, or an IBC filter.
Alex: Your biopsy was however positive for -
Cristina: a mixed anaerobics –
Alex: non group A streptococcie infection.
Cristina: Your BEO and encriatan elevations had us worried –
Alex: about rapidly progressive phlameleonephritis –
Cristina: Which could’ve seen you with an autoimmune disease.
Patient: What does that mean?
Cristina: We’re not going to amputate your leg.
Alex: You get to keep your kidneys.
Cristina: Congratulations (is hugged). You can go home today (hugged by another patient).
Alex: Yeah, yeah. Congratulations. Whatever. (beats a hasty retreat, then we see him backing away from a patient with arms outstretched like a zombie, then he ducks under another patient’s arms, who hugs his wife instead while Alex runs for it).
Cristina: (in different instances) Congratulations. There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re gonna be fine. Congratulations.
Cut to George running with the code team.
Cut to Meredith talking to a bunch of interns.
Meredith: What’s your favourite 80s group?
Intern 1: Queen.
Intern 2: Twist Your Sister.
Meredith groans and gets up to leave.
Intern 2: It’s not like there’s a right or wrong answer to that question!
Meredith: (leaving) The Go-Gos, Duran Duran, Eurythmics…
Cut to Alex and Cristina rushing around.
Alex: Have a nice day.
Cristina: You can go home today.
Cut to George running around with the code team, then George standing at the end of a bed, looking unhappy. Beeping noise.
George: Time of death, .
Cut to Meredith looking at the rape victim. Derek comes over.
Derek: Meredith. I’ve called every hospital in the county. Sooner or later, the guy that did this is going to seek medical attention, and when he does, that penis you’re carrying around is going to nail him.
Meredith: Where is her family?
Derek: Doesn’t have any.
Meredith: No siblings?
Derek: No. Both parents are dead. She just moved to
Meredith: Yeah. I’m fine, I just…have to do something. I have to go.
Derek: Right. I’m going to sit with her.
Cut to Meredith chasing Burke.
Meredith: Dr Burke?
Meredith: There’s a baby up in paeds, I saw him have a tet spell, and I think I hear a murmur.
Burke: Mmm. Did paeds call us for a consult?
Meredith: Actually, no, they’re not doing anything about it –
Burke: So you want me to what?
Meredith: If you could just go up and look at him –
Burke: Mm-hmm, not without a paeds consult.
Meredith: Yeah, but –
Burke: I’m a busy man, Grey, and there are rules. Look, it’s not like I’m the Chief of something.
He leaves. Cut to Izzie bandaging up a man’s hand.
Man: You’re hot.
Izzie: You’re drunk. Hold still.
Man: Wait, you’re that girl, from that magazine, the one, that red bikini?
Izzie: Yeah, it was pink. I’m done, you can see the nurse outside now.
The Chinese woman comes up and starts talking again, distressed.
Man: Is she crazy or something?
Izzie: No, I don’t think so. (motions for him to leave). Kay, please, please sit down, I really need to look at your arm. (woman does) Okay.
Izzie gets to work, the woman speaks, Izzie looks up at her but doesn’t know what to do, so she gets back to the arm wound.