This is the first half of episode 1, season 1. For the second half, go here.
Meredith VO: The game. They say either a person has what it takes to play, or they don’t. My mother was one of the greats. Me, on the other hand…I’m kinda screwed.
[Meredith wakes up on the couch and pulls a blanket off a naked man on the floor, wrapping it around herself. She hits him with a pillow and he grunts, waking up. He lifts up her bra.]
Meredith: [grabbing it, smiling] Humiliating on so many levels. You have to go.
Man: [sitting up] Why don’t you just come back down here and we’ll pick up where we left off?
Meredith: No, seriously. You have to go, I’m late. Which isn’t what you want to be on your first day of work, so
Man: So, ah, you actually live here.
Meredith: Yes. Kind of.
Man: [dressing] Oh. It’s nice. Little dusty. Odd. But it’s nice. So how do you kind of live here?
Meredith: I moved two weeks ago from
Man: Oh, I’m sorry.
Meredith: For what?
Man: You said was.
Meredith: Oh! My mother’s not dead, she’s – you know what, we don’t have to do the thing.
Man: Oh. We can do anything you want.
Meredith: No, the thing, exchange the details, pretend we care…look, I’m gonna go upstairs and take a shower, okay, and when I get back down here, you won’t be here, so, um, goodbye…um…
Meredith: [they shake hands] Derek. Right. Meredith.
Meredith: Yeah. [he comes closer, she backs away] Mm-hmm.
Derek: Nice meeting you.
Meredith: Bye Derek [smiling and fleeing for the stairs].
[Cut to Meredith leaving the house. Derek is presumably gone. Panning shots over the city as Meredith drives to work. Meredith enters a room filled with other interns as a doctor talks.]
Doctor: Each of you comes here hopeful. Wanting in on the game. A month ago you were in med school being taught by doctors. Today, you are the doctors. The seven years you spend here as a surgical resident will be the best and worst of your life. You will be pushed to the breaking point. Look around you. Say hello to your competition. Eight of you will switch to an easier specialty. Five of you will crack under the pressure. Two of you will be asked to leave. This is your starting line. This is your arena. How well you play? That’s up to you.
Meredith VO: Like I said. I’m screwed.
[Fadeout to logo, then cut to intern locker room.]
Doctor: Okay. Martin, Robinson, Bond, Parkins.
Meredith: Only six women out of twenty.
Female Korean intern (Cristina Yang): Yeah. I hear one of them’s a model. Seriously, like that’s going to help with the respect thing?
Meredith: You’re Cristina, right?
Cristina: Which resident you assigned to? I got Bailey.
Meredith: The Nazi? Yeah, me too.
Male intern (George O’Malley): You got the Nazi? So did I. At least we’ll be tortured together, right? I’m George O’Malley, uh, we met at the mixer, you had a black dress with a slit up the side, strappy sandals…[Cristina and Meredith exchange looks]
George: Now you think I’m gay.
Cristina: [walking away] Uh-huh.
George: No, I’m not gay, it’s, ah, it’s just that, you know, you were, I mean, you were very, unforgettable.
Doctor: O’Malley, Yang, Grey, Stevens.
George: [muttering] And I’m totally forgettable.
Cristina: [to Doctor] Bailey?
Doctor: End of the hall.
Cristina: That’s the Nazi?
[Medium shot of Dr. Bailey. She’s short, black and a bit overweight. She doesn’t look very threatening.]
George: I thought the Nazi would be a guy.
Meredith: I thought the Nazi would be…the Nazi.
Pretty female intern (Izzie Stevens): Maybe it’s professional jealousy. Maybe she’s brilliant, and they call her Nazi because they’re jealous. Maybe she’s nice.
Cristina: Let me guess. You’re the model.
[Izzie gives Cristina a look and turns to Dr. Bailey, smiling and extending a hand]
Izzie: Hi, I’m Isabel Stevens, but everyone calls me Izzie.
[Bailey looks her up and down, doesn’t respond or shake her hand]
Bailey: I have five rules. Memorise them. Rule number one, don’t bother sucking up, I already hate you, that’s not gonna change. [indicates stuff on the bench] Trauma protocol, phone lists, pagers. Nurses will page you, you answer every page at a run. A run, that’s rule number two. Your first shift starts now and lasts forty-eight hours. You’re interns, [‘Hour 1’ comes up on the screen], grunts, nobodies, bottom of the surgical food chain, you run labs, write orders, work every second night till you drop and don’t complain! [Cut to Bailey opening the door to a room with a couple of bunk beds]. On call rooms. Attendings hog them, sleep when you can, where you can, which brings me to rule number three, if I’m sleeping, don’t wake me, unless your patient is actually dying. Rule number four, the dying patient better not be dead when I get there, not only would you have killed someone, you would have also woke me for no good reason, we clear?
[Meredith raises a hand.]
Meredith: You said five rules. That was only four. [Bailey’s pager beeps].
Bailey: Rule number five. When I move, you move. [runs down the corridor, followed by the interns, yells at a few doctors blocking the hallway] Get out of my way!
[Cut to shot of a helicopter over the city, cut to the interns and Bailey moving a stretcher over to it, on the roof of the hospital.]
Bailey: What’ve we got?
Paramedic: [as Katie’s put on the stretcher and taken in to the hospital] Katie Bryce, fifteen-year-old female, new onset seizures, intermittent for the past week, ID lost en route, started grand mal seizing as we descended.
Bailey: All right, get her on her side, Izzie, ten milligrams Diazepam,
no, no, the white lead is on the right, righty whitey, smoke over fire, a large bore I.V. don’t let the blood haemolyse, let’s go!
[Izzie injects her and she stops seizing. A new doctor, Preston Burke, enters, black, tall, young.]
Burke: So I heard we got a wet fish on dry land?
Bailey: Absolutely Dr. Burke.
Burke: Dr. Bailey, I’m gonna shotgun her.
Bailey: That means every test in the book, CT, CBC, chem. seven, tux screen, Cristina, you’re on labs, George, patient workups, Meredith, get Katie for a CT, she’s your responsibility now.
Izzie: Wait, what about me?
Bailey: You – honey, you get to do rectal exams.
[Cut to Izzie pulling on gloves and covering her fingers with gel.
Cut to Cristina peering into an operating room, where Bailey is.]
Bailey: What are you doing here?
Cristina: Um, Katie Bryce’s labs came out clear, there’s nothing in the results that explain her seizures, I just thought you’d wanna know.
Bailey: Okay. [goes to pull her mask back up and close the door]
Cristina: Ah, I - I heard every year the attending on call picks the best intern and, and lets them perform a procedure, during the first shift? [Bailey stares at her] I’m, I’m just saying it’s what I heard…
Bailey: Go away. Now.
[Cut to George using a stethoscope.]
George: Yeah, sounds good.
Woman: He’ll be fine? You’ll be fine.
Patient: [smiling, lying back] If you don’t count that my bacon days are over, sure.
George: You’ll have surgery tomorrow with Dr. Burke, I hear he’s good, and after that, you can have all of the bacon-flavoured soy product you can eat.
Patient: Mmm, kill me now.
George: I wish I could, but I’m a healer. [gets weird looks]
[Cut to Meredith with Katie (on a bed) in an elevator.]
Katie: You’re lost.
Meredith: I’m not lost. How are you feeling?
Katie: How do you think I’m feeling? I’m missing my pageant.
Meredith: You’re missing your pageant. [wheeling her out of the elevator and around a corner]
Katie: The Spokane Teen Miss? I was in the top ten after the first two rounds. This is my year. I could’ve won. [sitting up, being wheeled back around the same way] Hello? You’re so lost. What are you, like, new?
[Cut to Izzie…doing her job.]
Izzie: Okay, so I’m gonna, just gonna, insert my fingers…into your rectum.
[Cut to George giving his patient an injection. And again. It’s hurting the patient.
Cut back to Izzie’s face. Cut back to George]
[Cut back to Izzie, who’s really disgusted now but not saying anything.
Cut back to George’s patient. Dr Burke is pulling on a glove.]
Burke: [to George] Out. Out.
George: Bet you missed a lot when you first started out. [Burke looks derisive.]
[Cut to Katie and Meredith.]
Katie: I twisted my ankle. I do rhythmic gymnastics, which is like, really cool. Nobody else does it. And I tripped over my ribbon, and I didn’t get stuck with someone this clueless. And that was like, a nurse.
[Cut to Burke]
Burke: [to George] You and I are going to have so much fun together.
[Cut to Izzie closing a curtain, cut to the cafeteria. HOUR 7.]
George sits down. Izzie is staring at the food with some horror.
George: This shift is a marathon, not a sprint, eat.
Izzie: I can’t.
George: You should eat something.
Izzie: You try eating after performing seventeen rectal exams. The Nazi hates me.
George: The Nazi’s a resident. I have attendings hating me.
Cristina: You know Meredith is inbred?
George: Like it’s uncommon around here to be a doctor’s -
Cristina: No, I mean royally inbred. Her mother is Ellis Grey.
Izzie: Shut up, the Ellis Grey?
George: Who’s Ellis Grey?
Izzie and Cristina laugh.
Cristina: The Grey method? Where’d you go to med school,
Izzie: She was one of the first big chick surgeons, she practically invented the abdominal-
Cristina: She’s a living legend, she won the Harper Avery. Twice.
George: So I didn’t know one thing.
Izzie: Talk about parental pressure.
Cristina: I would kill to have Ellis Grey as a mother. I would kill to be Ellis Grey.
All I need is one good case. [Meredith comes over and sits down with her tray].
Meredith: Katie Bryce is a pain in the ass. If I hadn’t taken the Hippocratic oath, I’d Kevorkian her with my bare hands [everybody stares at her].
Burke: Good afternoon interns. It’s posted, but I thought I’d share the good news personally. As you know, the honour of performing the first surgery is reserved for the intern that shows the most promise. As I’m running the OR today, I get to make that choice. [he claps George on the back] George O’Malley. You’ll scrub in for an adipectomy this afternoon. Congratulations.
Burke leaves, no one speaks.
George: Did he say me?
Cut to another part of the hospital.
Bailey: I’ve seen his file. George O’Malley barely made the cut to get into this program, he’s not your guy.
Burke: No, he’s my guy all right.
Bailey: Shit, every year you pick your guy, and every year your guy suffers more than any other intern on surgery.
Burke: Terrorise one, and the rest fall in line.
Bailey: I get it, I respect it, but George? O’Malley’s a puppy, he can’t even take the pressure. [walking away. Camera moves to a man and a woman, not doctors]
Woman: Katie Bryce, 3604?
Nurse: It’s right there.
Woman: Thank you.
[Cut to inside Katie’s room.]
Woman: Katie, honey, mom and dad are here.
Meredith: They gave her a sedative for the CT scan, so she’s a little groggy.
Mother: Will she be all right?
Father: Our doctor at home said she might need an operation, is that true?
Mother: What kind of operation?
Meredith: She’s, um, well, you know what, I’m not, I’m not the doctor, uh, I’m a doctor, but I’m not Katie’s doctor, so I’ll go get him for you.
Meredith goes to Bailey.
Meredith: Katie’s parents have questions. Do you talk to them, or do I ask Burke?
Bailey: No, Burke’s off the case, Katie belongs to the new attending now, Dr. Shepherd, he’s over there. [we can’t see Dr. Shepherd]
Meredith takes a few steps in that direction. She stops dead. We can see him now, he’s talking to another doctor. It’s Derek, from this morning. Meredith’s eyes widen and she starts to turn to go. He glances her way, does a double take. She turns and leaves. He’s still staring.
[Meredith is walking down the hall and Derek grabs her arm.]
Meredith: Hey – [he pulls her into a stairwell, no one’s around.] Dr. Shepherd, -
Derek: Dr. Shepherd? This morning it was Derek. Now it’s Dr. Shepherd.
Meredith: Dr. Shepherd, we should pretend it never happened.
Derek: What never happened, you sleeping with last night? Or you throwing me out this morning? Because both are fond memories I’d like to hold onto.
Meredith: No. There will be no memories. I’m not the girl in the bar anymore, and you’re not the guy. This can’t exist. You get that, right?
Derek: You took advantage of me and now you want to forget about it.
Meredith: I did not take –
Derek: I was drunk, vulnerable and good-looking and you took advantage.
Meredith: [smiling] Okay, I was the one who was drunk, and you are not that good-looking.
Derek: Well, maybe not today. Last night, last night I was very good-looking. I had my red shirt on, my good-looking shirt, you took advantage.
Meredith: I did not take –
Derek: You want to take advantage again? Say Friday night?
Meredith: No. You’re an attending. And I’m your intern. Stop looking at me like that.
Derek: Like what?
Meredith: Like you’ve seen me naked. [Derek smirks] Dr. Shepherd. This is inappropriate. Has that ever occurred to you?
[Meredith leaves, Shepherd sighs.
Cut to George, about to go into surgery.]
George: [muttering] Open identify ligate irrigate close. Open identify ligate irrigate close. Open identify ligate irrigate close.
Intern 1: He’s going to faint. He’s a fainter.
Intern 2: Naaah, code brown. Right in his pants.
Intern 1: He’s all about the flops, he’s going to sweat himself unsterile.
Intern 3: Ten bucks says he messes up the McBird.
Cristina: Twenty says he cries.
Intern 2: I’ll put twenty on a total meltdown.
Meredith: Fifty says he pulls the whole thing off.
[Everybody looks at her, silent.]
Meredith: That’s one of us, down there. The first one of us. Where’s your loyalty?
Cristina: Seventy-five says he can’t even ID the appendix.
Izzie: I’ll take that action. [others agree]
Burke: Okay, O’Malley, let’s see what you can do.
Meredith: Here it comes.
[George takes it, the interns cheer from the gallery. Burke motions for them to shut up.]
Cristina: That Burke, he’s trouble. [interns laugh]
[George gets ready to cut.]
Burke: More pressure. Human flesh is a tough shell, dig in.
George: Met some bone. I’m there.
Intern 1: Damn, he got the peritoneum and he opened him up.
Meredith: I told you, he’s going to pull it off.
George: Appendix is out [tossing it into a tray, to cheers]
Burke: Not bad.
George: Thank you.
Burke: Now all you have to do is invert the stump into the secum and simultaneously pull up on the purse-strings but be careful not to [rip] break them. [groans] He ripped the secum. Got a bleeder. You’re filling with stool, what do you do now?
Burke: Think. You start the suction, and you start digging for those purse-strings before she bleeds to death. Belky, give him a clamp.
Nurse: BP’s dropping.
Cristina: He’s choking.
Meredith: Come on, George.
Burke: Today. Pull your balls out of your back pocket, let’s go. What are you waiting for, suction? [beeping starts]
Nurse: Getting too low folks… Dr Burke…
Burke: Get out of the way. Pansy-ass idiot. Get him out of here. Suction. Clamp.
Intern [Alex Karev]: 007.
Other intern: 007, yep, that’s a total 007.
Izzie: What’s 007 mean?
Meredith: Licensed to kill.
Cut to interns sitting on spare beds along an empty corridor.]
George: 007. They’re calling me 007, aren’t they?
Izzie and Meredith: No one’s calling you 007.
George: I was on the elevator and Murphy whispered 007.
Cristina: Oh, how many times do we have go through this, George, five, ten? Give me a number or else I’m going to hit you.
George: Murphy whispered 007 and everyone laughed.
Izzie: He wasn’t talking about you.
George: You sure?
Meredith: Would we lie to you?
Cristina: 007 is a state of mind.
George: So says the girl who finished top of her class at Stanford.
Meredith: Oh man. It’s 911 for Katie Bryce. I gotta go. [takes off at a run]
George: Maybe I should’ve gone into geriatrics. No one minds when you kill an old person.
Cristina: Surgery is hot, it’s the Marines, it’s the macho, it’s hostile, it’s hardcore. Geriatrics is for freaks who live with their mothers and never have sex.
George: I’ve got to get my own place.
[Cut to Meredith running to Katie. She goes in, Katie’s reading a magazine.]
Katie: Took you long enough.
Meredith: You’re okay? The nurse paged me 911.
Katie: I had to go all Exorcist to get her to even pick up the phone.
Meredith: Wait. There’s nothing wrong with you?
Katie: I’m bored.
Meredith: You little…I’m not a cruise director.
Katie: You don’t have to wig out. The pageant’s supposed to be on cable, but this crappy hospital doesn’t get the channel. If that cow Kylie Wood is gonna walk off with my crown, I have to see it. Can you call someone?
Meredith: Okay. This is an actual hospital. There are sick people here. Go to sleep, and stop wasting my time.
Katie: But I can’t sleep. My head’s all full.
Meredith: That’s called thinking. Go with it.